Photo by Jose Aragones on Unsplash
The New Year encourages one to have a list of things to do, to stop, and to continue. It can get overwhelming, and often we end up doing just a fraction of what we intended to do. Reality trims our goals down to what truly matter.
There are things that we have started doing in the past year that we find worth continuing. Looking back will also show us what we need to stop doing – things that were unproductive or counterproductive. It should also lead us to thinking about the things we need to start doing.
To help you get things started, here are some we suggest that we all need to start, stop, or continue doing:
Things we need to do:
- Be responsible and accountable. Accountability starts with you taking serious commitment for responsibilities you assume or are assigned to you. It means making yourself answerable to yourself, to the people you work with and for, and to the people who love you. Constantly communicate with trustworthy people who can give you honest feedback.
- Self-regulate. You have control over your actions and reactions for which you are liable. You cannot regulate what others do or not do. You can only change how you act, react, or respond to a situation. The way and extent that you allow something or someone to affect you depends on you. Control negativity and aim for less stress and positive perspective and impact.
- Assess your moves. Before acting or reacting, assess how it will affect others and you. While some situations call for immediate action, what is not a matter of life and death can benefit from a moment of thorough thought. Pause and think things over; take heed of each action’s potential
Practice a “night cap review” – a self-reflection exercise. Before you end the day, perhaps while in transit going home or prepping to sleep, review what went well, what can be done better, and who are the people who need your encouragement and who you need to ask forgiveness from. - Forgive. People are imperfect. “To err is human.” This is not to excuse people for their mistakes, but forgiving is an act of grace on your part – just as we ourselves often need grace for our mistakes. Acknowledge what you feel when wronged, but for your own sake, recognize that you need not harbor anger. Seek to forgive especially when you do not know where the person is coming from. Seeking to understand makes you the better person. This can breed love and foster harmony.
- Create a Joy List. Have a monthly list of what gives you joy. Joy is in consonance with your conscience and morals and thus, sits well in the heart. It is a life priority list. I find that some people who are grounded and very successful have the following order of priorities: First, God, or one’s relationship with the Almighty Creator and the ensuing work of acting on the Great Commandment to love the Lord our God with all our heart, mind, soul and strength, and to love one another as we love ourselves. Acting on such priority involves spend a daily quiet time of reading the Word and prayer, and doing work in service. Second priority is family: resolve to spend as much quality time with them on a daily basis. Work, when given priority, can be made better when given focus sans social media during office hours. Work on your joy list within your categories of priority.
Things we need to stop:
- Blaming. Remember that it takes two to tango especially in situations where you are a player. Thus, you need not blame others for your situation as you are an individual with intelligence and will. Take the reins, acknowledge the mistake, accept what cannot be undone and, work towards what can be done. Regulate your actions and reactions and stop the blame game. However, if you feel that an injustice has been done to you, take the ball to your court and do something to make it right.
- Worrying. To be concerned is fine. To worry too much is what we need to be cautious of. Being anxious can lead you to become overly controlling. It can cause you to distrust, dissociate and dissent. Try to switch your perspective and ask people for help. This is where your accountability partners – who may include your subordinates – can help alleviate the burden.
- Procrastinating. Understand the importance, value, and objective of a task on hand. If you set aside a task, it could impact team work and task management. If it is too big or daunting, it needs to be broken down to smaller task to get the ball rolling.
The excuse that you perform better under pressure may not be accurate. Adrenaline high is not the same as pressure. When you want to do a task excellently, you normally need to sleep over it for correction or improvement. Giving yourself more time to mull over an important task is better than not having enough time to review it before delivery or submission. Remember that there’s no coming back for lost time. Make the most of it and enjoy life more.
You may want to pause the other things of lesser priority. Think of how accomplishing this one task can liberate you to do other things. - Projecting. Projecting is a defense mechanism where we protect our own ego by denying our own impulses and attributing them to others. Projection can be hurtful to you and other people. An example is when you are projecting that the other person dislikes you, when in fact, it is you who dislikes the other person. Or it can be that you are saying that the other person is unfaithful, when in fact, it is you who are unfaithful.
Projecting creates animosity. You need to stop doing this and just take the person as is without you mirroring how you feel. The way to turn your back on it is to do a daily reflection exercise to help enhance your self-awareness. Assessing what happened on a daily basis can keep you grounded on the whys and hows of your every emotion. It will help you understand the triggers of each negative emotion and zero-in on what needs to be addressed. Resolve to believe that people have innate goodness. Start with yourself: believe and do good. - FOMO. The “fear of missing out” could become a deadly sin when you feel that you need to be in every event to be where the action is. Rest takes a back seat when you want to be that social butterfly and be where the rest of your network is.
Ask yourself, “Why do you fear? Will missing out on an event or scenario lessen your value as a person?”
Assess where your significance lies. Know that you are significant in the eyes of the One and Only. Ask yourself, “Who am I answerable to?” Follow the same order of priority: God, family, work. Perhaps you would like to make a change this time around.
Photo by Suzy Hazelwood from Pexels
Need to continue:
- Gratitude. A simple thank you can go a long way. Keep finding the littlest of blessings to give your heart a stamp of gladness. Be thankful everyday.
- Believe. Deepen your belief in God and in people. Believe that things happen for a reason no matter what. When you see with eyes of faith, you will witness miracles.
- Learn and share. There is something to learn every single day. All you need is an open mind and heart to see the silver lining. Share what you learn for a generously richer life.
- Encourage. Encouragement begets encouragement.
- Good practice makes perfect. Whatever you are doing right and well, just keep on. Out with the practices detrimental to your well-being. Take note of your good practices and season these with the right practice.
We are all a work in progress. Never stop doing the right things and doing things right. Realize that being our best is our birthright, for we are created in the image and likeness of a great Creator. Let no one stop you from becoming a better version of yourself.
https://www.everydayhealth.com/emotional-health/psychological-projection-dealing-with-undesirable-emotions/
Alpha Gracias C. Allanigui describes herself as “a learner and lover of life, a marketing strategist by profession with a creative heart and a philosophical mind, an extroverted introvert, the queen mother of two young men, a sister to sibs and friends, a daughter to a couple of spritely individuals, and a proud child of God.”
