I am Eric Himan, a lawyer and a businessman. I am a single parent to two wonderful children.
I have been a single dad for almost four years now. My wife went home to be with the Lord in October of 2015 after four years of battling cancer. Since then, it has just been me and my kids.
It has been both exciting and challenging. Coming into realization that I have become a single parent left me completely daunted. Nothing can really prepare you for the task: not my life experiences, my education, nor my relatives. Not my friends–even those who are also single parents, as each person, child and family is unique in his own situation and circumstances. There is always this lingering fear that somehow I will mess up not only my life but the lives of my children as well.
On Losing A Life Partner
Losing my wife was heartbreaking. She was my partner, adviser and best friend. Certainly, a part of me died as well. It was as if my heart had been violently yanked away from my chest. It was painful and numbing and crippling all at the same time. It was the darkest and lowest point of my life. Thankfully though, I have a company of godly friends who kept me strong in my faith. They labored with me, grieved and wept with me, and encouraged me. They made me and my kids feel loved. And I can’t help but acknowledge that they were God’s hand of comfort at that time. They kept me in faith, which enabled me to turn to God all the more as I refocused on the life before me as a single parent to my two kids.
Since my wife died, I would say I have moved on quite well, but I still remember her every day. It’s hard not to since I am still madly in love with her. I cannot even imagine being in the company of another woman. To keep myself busy, I have set up several businesses together with my law practice. I am, of course, a parent first and foremost so my priority remains the well-being of my two kids.
On Parenting Single-Handedly
Making everyday decisions is quite challenging. I do not have the benefit of a second opinion or advice from a life partner, so making decisions – whether as trivial as giving permission to my teenager to a sleep-over or making a major investment or purchase – can be quite disconcerting. I must say however, that the everyday decision-making process is a humbling experience for me. It keeps me grounded, in a sense, as I recognize that I may not be as wise as I probably think. This realization always brings me to my knees to pray and ask for higher wisdom.
Everyday, I am encouraged by the thought that even without a wife, I do not need to parent by myself. God is always with me. Everyday, I acknowledge that I have an all-powerful, all-knowing and wise God who will always see to it that all my family is taken care of.
On Support and Encouragement
It can get lonely sometimes. I long for deep and intimate conversations. Nevertheless, I am fortunate to be surrounded by many people who relate to me with such love and compassion. The people who matter to me know that there is more to know about me. That is good enough for me.
My prayer is that my kids and I will always be at the center of God’s will, and that we do not miss out on the best things God had already prepared for us. Do keep us in your prayers.
Eric Himan is a lawyer by profession, running his own law firm, a businessman, and a Certified Dive Master. He and his wife, Atty. Maida Credo-Himan used to minister together as a one-flesh team, strengthening marriages and families. He was widowed in 2015. With the burning desire to continue on making an impact to families, he developed a module for single parents aptly titled, “SINGLE PARENTING WITH A PURPOSE.” This course has seven lessons that address issues a single parent faces. (It is now in the printing process.)
Atty. Eric is a graduate of the New Life School of Ministry, the Bible School of New Life Christian Center. He continuous to serve under the Marriage and Parenting Ministry, specifically handling the core team for Single Parents, and gives free Legal Counsel and assistance for family related cases. He is graced to be the best Dad to his children, Ysrael, 18 y/o and Ysabelle, 12 y/o.
Very nice read Atty Eric!
I for once had been a single parent before. Unknown to most of the guys, you and all the be connected guys helped me through it. And I will be forever grateful!!!