Sending our children back to school can cause us mothers to have ambiguous feelings.
While we do want our children back on the educational saddle, thoughts of resetting the alarm clock earlier than the usual morning wake up time, planning our day, making school snacks and lunches, and then joining the morning traffic—all these can make some of us want to push back time. But these inconveniences can be resolved by early planning, and sticking to the plan. Meaning, most of it depends on us parents to make the plan work.
What about concerns like, “Will my child find good friends?” “Will she have good teachers?” “What if she gets bullied?” “What if she is influenced the wrong way?” “Will she enjoy school?”
These are real, honest parental concerns that no longer involve mere early planning. I admire parents who have no struggle releasing their children into the real world. But to others, including my husband and me, the transition is accompanied by anxiety —no matter how much planning is involved and followed.
My husband and I realized through the years that when our children go to school, it’s no longer up to us alone to make life work for our children. Our children’s school represents the real world where there is a governing authority, and that’s not us parents. There are rules to be followed that we too, have to adhere to. It has its own culture that shapes and influences our children in some way, and we have no control over their school environment. Our children will have to learn how to maneuver themselves through a maze of challenges and difficulties without us coaching them every step of the way, whether they’re six years old or 21. In many ways, it will be a test of how strongly (or poorly) we instilled our family values on them. That’s both an exciting and a scary thought at the same time.
How did we overcome our fears year after year? By recognizing that there’s a Supreme Being more powerful, always present, more loving and concerned over our children’s well-being —much more than we can ever be. He co-parents with us, and so, to Him, we run, call, ask, and release every thought that scares us. There is an invitation to “Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7 NLT). This invitation teaches us to surrender our children to God day by day through daily conversations with Him in prayer.
As our children enter school for the first time, or re-enter for the nth time this school year, how do we surrender our worries and cares to God beyond “God bless and protect my child in school today”? Here are some suggested prayer points. Remember these 3 H’s and 1 I:
- Head – More than intelligence, pray for growing wisdom that will guide your child in making responsible choices and decisions.
Our children will make mistakes and may fail our expectations. But we want them to become problem solvers, able to rise above their failures and conquer their fears. So they need to be mentally healthy and strong. Bring these concerns to God. Ask Him to help them fix their mind on truthful, hopeful thoughts, developing a resistance to destructive thoughts. Tell God, too, that you wish to see your child succeed academically, and have enriching school experience she will remember.
- Heart – The book of Proverbs advises us, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23)
Help your child guard his heart by asking God to move and mold his interests, desires, and inclinations towards matters that please Him. Pray that God develops in him a teachable, God-fearing heart and character that grows in strength, integrity, humility, and concern for others. Do you want your child to be an overcomer of life’s pressures? Tell God.
- Hands –Your child is uniquely created by God. She has innate gifts and abilities intended for her to use for good purposes. Rather than worry about how to hone her skills, relax. Ask God to show you her special abilities, provide you with resources, and give her opportunities to practice those abilities. Pray too, that your child will learn life skills that will equip her to persevere and live well.
- Influencers in his/her life –“Young people who obey the law are wise; those with wild friends bring shame to their parents.” (Proverbs 28:7)
Our children need to belong. I personally worry about my children’s friendships, about whether they will have good, lasting ones, or not. It has become my permanent prayer for God to give our sons God-fearing, loyal friends who will be a godly influence to them.
Teachers are like parents to our children in school. They are very influential to them. How would you like your child’s teacher to treat him/ her? Let God know what you think and feel.
With one of our sons in college, we discovered that some teachers in this level teach their students more than just their assigned courses. Some teachers also teach their own godless values and world views. Although they would say students should be open to other ideas, it seems to be a disguised campaign of the teacher’s beliefs which may not necessarily be morally right.
Our sons and daughters are precious to us. We would do anything to make life work well for them at home and in school. But we are not God. Without God, we are powerless to help our children thrive in the real world. Let’s nurture their head, heart, hands, and guard those who influence them in school by going to God and giving Him every anxiety we have concerning our children.
Michelle Agustin is happily married to Eric S. Agustin since 1995. Together, they serve as faculty and mentors at the International Graduate School of Leadership (IGSL). Michelle teaches wives from all over Asia and other parts of the world through the Partners in Ministry (PIM) certificate program, a program for wives of men in ministry. She and her husband are blessed with three sons, Nathan, Timmy, and Noah.
