A Father Comes Home

I grew up in a broken family because my father was in prison for 15 years.  After his release, he stayed with us for a few years, only to leave us to be with his mistress—a daughter of his kumpare.  I hated my father for verbally and physically abusing me together with my siblings and my mother. He eventually abandoned us.

My hatred towards my father led me to the rebellious life of a juvenile delinquent: smoking at age 9, drinking alcohol at 10, smoking marijuana and abusing cough syrup at 11.  I was in and out of school and police stations from getting involved in fistfights. I got hooked on shabu. I also got involved in murder, was on the front page of a newspaper for gang rape, got jailed in San Juan for carnapping and robbery—all by the age of 17. I also survived two major car accidents and three separate shooting incidents.

I nurtured hatred towards my father to the point that I desired to kill him. I hated him and what I had become.

At 18, I got my girlfriend pregnant. After five years of living together, she eventually became my wife. But just like my father, I had several relationships with women before and after my marriage.  I was an unfaithful husband, an irresponsible provider, and a careless father.

After getting married in a Christian wedding, I was still the same person doing the same worldly things.  I would be away from home for one day, which became two to three days, and then weeks—until I ended up leaving them.  I lived with my mistress for more than two years and planned to have my marriage annulled so I could leave my wife and be with my mistress.  My mistress got pregnant twice and miscarried both times.

One night, I told my wife and two kids to go inside a small tent in our room.  Without their knowledge, my motive was to kill them so that I could marry my mistress.  Just when I was about to pull the trigger, my then two-year old son laughed joyously, which stopped me from pulling the trigger.

While I was busy doing worldly things, my wife was also busy spending time with God attending midweek Bible study, Sunday worship service at Christ’s Commission Fellowship (CCF) and small group Bible study.  Little did I know that my wife’s Bible study group had been praying for me consistently and fervently, and their prayers were slowly being answered.  First, they prayed that God would cause a separation between me and my mistress, and it happened! Second, they prayed that my mistress would fall out of love with me and find a bachelor. She married a foreigner.

At a loss, I stayed in Batangas for several months. This became the beginning of God’s work in my life. I got involved in a shooting incident with our neighbor who filed a case of frustrated homicide against me.

Badly in need of help, the first person that came to my mind was my wife. I remembered the messages she consistently sent me: “I love you more and more each day and I forgive you everyday,” “I’m praying for you,” and “We are just here waiting for you to come back.”

I informed my wife about what happened, and she fetched me right away. With nowhere to go, this became an opportunity for me to stay with my family. Still, my wife showed me her unconditional love, never mentioning anything about the pain I caused her.  She would invite me several times to her small group fellowship and to Sunday Service, and because of the goodness she showed me, I was encouraged to attend.

Things started to change in January 2001 when I attended the church’s prayer gathering with my wife for the first time.  I felt the Holy Spirit touch my life. After the pastor gave the message, everyone started to pray on their own. Some were kneeling, some were standing, some were sitting—but almost all of them were praying aloud, as if God was just in front of them. I believe it was God who impressed upon me that prayer should come from the heart, so I tried talking to God from my heart. I said, “Lord if You are real, please help me. I feel so tired and miserable and I need Your help.” I remember suddenly kneeling before God and sobbing, realizing and feeling the weight of living a life full of pain and anger. I started to share to God about my hatred towards my dad for hurting and abandoning us. I felt so good talking to God from the heart.

That same day, I made a decision to surrender my life to God and accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior.

Since that day, I never had the urge to smoke, drink, nor use prohibited drugs.  I stopped womanizing and going out with my friends. All I wanted was to be with my family all the time or attend Bible studies, Sunday service and the Dawn Watch prayer gathering.  Soon after, I started attending my wife’s couples small group regularly.

As a recipient of God’s unconditional love, grace and forgiveness, I believe God wanted me liberated from my unforgiveness towards my father. My father was himself a victim of wrong parenting because Christ was not part of his family. So I forgave my dad, showed respect to him, and expressed my love for him in both word and deed.

I also realized how much I had hurt and neglected my family. I asked for their forgiveness and made sure that they are my priority next to God. We then started to enjoy being with each other, worshiping and serving God together.

I felt peace in my heart, harmony within my family, and the passion to love and serve God.

From being a disciple, I became a small group leader after a year, then youth ministry coordinator.  In 2005, I was assigned to serve as youth pastor of CCF East. Then, in 2008, God gave us a bigger opportunity: I was called to serve as pastor of CCF Taytay. Then the Lord entrusted to us the task of overseeing 16 satellite churches in the areas of Rizal province and Quezon City which make up the CCF Metro East churches.

As to the incident in Batangas where I was charged with frustrated homicide, I praise God because the complainant had already filed an affidavit of desistance, which made me a truly free man.

I praise God for He is in the business of restoring lives and relationships. He has been helping me become the kind of father He wants me to be for my children: actively discipling my children and helping them grow in their relationship with God through weekly family devotions, seeking to be Christ-like in their eyes, helping them feel loved and building them up through constant appreciation and encouragement, and helping them feel secure in my love for God and for their mother as well.

My name is Danny Urquico, a recipient of God’s grace and a servant of the Lord. To Him be all glory, honor, and highest praise!