Boris with his wife, Michelle, and their daughters, Ysobel and Julia
Raising two daughters (a teenager and a tweener) in the digital age is especially challenging. The world is changing in so many ways but there are timeless qualities that remain – like faith-based values and proper upbringing. As a parent, staying grounded and being consistent are key. And I am glad that my wife, Michelle, is the mother of my daughters and is with me in this journey. The world may have changed tremendously but no one can take away those core values that my wife is using to raise our kids. And for that, I am grateful to my wife, the mother of my children.
This Mother’s Day, allow me to pay tribute to the mother of my daughters by sharing with you 5 qualities evident in her, which can hopefully equip and encourage other mothers as well:
She shows unconditional love. Michelle’s love spurs confidence in our daughters since they never worry about loss of love due to their bad behavior. She recognizes that her patience will be tried by chaos and disobedience, but she tries her best to never allow that to cause her love to regress in anger. And even if it does, she apologizes immediately.
This is a key trait for Michelle that breeds the succeeding qualities. A mother who loves God with all her heart isn’t afraid to unconditionally love her children. The Bible said “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear” (1 John 4:18).
As a Christian mother, Michelle is able to demonstrate unconditional love because she actively engages the Word of God and refers to biblical principles for every problem in the home. She meditates on the Bible regularly as well as teaches them to our children during their devotions. Our children witness her diligence and learns from her example to apply God’s teachings. This is why the following qualities are natural outcomes of her faith and love for God.
She forgives them willingly. Offenses will come from kids every now and then. Offenses may come from me or outside of our home, yet Michelle won’t hold forgiveness hostage until her feelings or things get better. She would rather choose to forgive immediately and trust God to heal her hurts. I am a recipient of her grace and forgiveness and can testify on how she extended unconditional love for me. Despite my offenses to her, she didn’t put me in the penalty box, instead resolved to be the best wife and life partner that I can ever have. That demonstration of grace compelled me to change and resolve to be the best husband she can ever have in return. My family recognizes this principle in her and endeavors to practice forgiving others as well, as a way of life.
She knows when to listen. Our kids, although introvert in front of others, do talk a lot, and it’s impossible to give attention to every detail. Michelle knows when they need her to really listen. She would drop whatever she was doing and give them her attention for however long they need it. She would probe every last detail and feeling about the situation, no matter how small or insignificant. She knows the value of allowing our children to have a safe place to unload their emotions and feelings, especially the bad ones. She can put down her phone and turn away from the computer screen, just to listen to one of our children with her full attention. This is one quality she possesses that I truly admire — the ability to listen with her whole self, without judgment.
She never labels them. With just two daughters, she could have easily compared and labeled each one. The smart one, the pretty one, the difficult one, the easy one, the athletic one, the reader, the mathematician, the shy one, the funny one. But she doesn’t. She refuses to limit their potential and who they might grow up to be with a label. She encourages my girls to change. Our two daughters are so different from each other and it is easy to have one suffer from labels. For example, the younger one could potentially struggle with security and self-worth just because she cannot match with her ate or succumb to the one-dimensional image posted by friends on social media. On the contrary, our youngest views herself as “unique” with her own skill sets and preferences. She is open to explore new things because she is allowed to be herself, which I see as a testament to Michelle’s ability to make her feel special in her own way.
Lastly, she holds to what is right. Her faith will most certainly be tested in her roles as a wife and mother. Michelle accepts the testing of her faith so she can grow in perseverance. She demonstrates her faithfulness as she continues to mature in her relationship with God and others. She makes the tough decisions that run against the flow of society’s corruption of children and youth. She sticks to what is right in the eyes of God for her children’s spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being. She refuses to compromise righteousness for acceptance.
Michelle exhibits these wonderful traits because she’s a follower of Christ. The salt and light of our home (Luke 5:13). But a Christian mother isn’t necessarily better than other mothers; but rather she has special seasoning due to the presence of God, the salvation of Christ and the day-to-day guidance of the Holy Spirit. A believing mother has a wealth of resources available to train, discipline, and love her children in the grace of God.
Does your presence as a mother bring a delightful taste to those around you, especially your children? Just like Michelle, may you continually be strengthened in your roles as a mother through a deeply rooted faith in God. This will sustain you through the difficulties of living in an ungodly world and give the ability to encourage your children to look towards God in every situation.
Boris Joaquin is a corporate trainer, executive coach and consultant, and is president and co-founder of Breakthrough Leadership Management Consultancy. He describes himself as one “saved by God’s grace, and loved for a lifetime by his wife Michelle and admired by his two daughters Ysobel and Julia.”
