I’m a fabulously flat, fierce, fighting mom with a fantastic son. I used to be a single-breasted single mom with a single son. People usually referred to me as the most single person that they have ever met, but now it’s already different. I’m a two-time breast cancer survivor. The first one was in 2002 and after 12 years of being okay, in 2015, I had it again on the right breast. They’re 12 years apart but it’s not really a recurrence. I got totally healed from the first one. It’s just the cancer genes are very strong and very high that I had another primary in 2012. God is good. Both of them [were at] stage 1.
The first time was by a divine intervention talaga, super. My son kicked my breast. It hurt so much I almost dropped him. That’s when I became aware na, “What’s this? Oh, so there’s a bukol. I had to have this checked.”
On growing up with cancer
It’s hereditary. Mother, grandmother, and then me. Actually, I think it helped that I was already very aware of breast cancer.
I didn’t really see my lola anymore; she didn’t survive, probably because how they were treating breast cancer before was still “crude”. They were doing cobalt [therapy]. It wasn’t even chemo. Now, I think, cobalt is already banned. She was only at stage 2, but she didn’t make it. She was only 50. Mom was a lot better, she got it at 40.
I got my first when I was 28, almost 30. So if you look at it, [our gap was] like 10 years, in general, younger than the previous one. I was really, really aware [of the possibility] and I remember being with my mom in the hospital with everyone telling the six-year-old me, “You have to watch out. Keep checking on yourself.” So I was aware. Growing up, I was aware.
Frankly speaking, I wasn’t that shocked because prior to that I had three benign tumors already that were removed. And then finally, when it happened, the fourth one that my son happened to kick, I was like, “I think this is it.”
On finding out
Looking back, I wasn’t “shookt.” I was with my mom and my dad. My son was left at home. When the doctor first told me, it was total silence. [My parents] were just crying, because it was very traumatic for my Dad. It was the same doctor in the same hospital. He sat on the same chair talking to the same doctor. And just before that, he was at the office when he got a call, and ganon ‘yong kay Mom. So after 20 plus years ‘eto na naman. The doctor said the [exact] same thing, “I am sorry. You have breast cancer.”
Feeling ko noon go-getter pa ko, kasi I was still young, “So ano po bang gagawin sa akin?” Talagang inayos ko. The doctor told me, “We’re going to remove the whole breast–mastectomy–and after that we’ll have chemotherapy.” Ako naman–siyempre arte-arte–I asked, “Will I lose my hair?” Kasi noong time na ‘yun hanggang waist ‘yung hair ko. *laugh* Ang arte di ba?
When I got home that was when I broke down–when I saw my son. When I saw him I thought, “Oh my. He’s ten months old. If I don’t make this, that’s it.” At the time, I prayed, “Lord, so this is it. You gave it. [I trust that] You won’t give me anything I can’t handle. Kaya ‘to.”
After the treatment, I had my cancer tested and was told, wala na, okay. And every six months I kept on having tests that’s why it was shocking when I had it again. I was supposed to have the test on April but by January, I was already feeling the lump so I didn’t wait for April. February, it was sure. March, remove. Then another set of chemo.
“We’re number nine in the world. It’s that high.”
On her inspiration to get better
I knew I had to fight [the cancer] because of my son. Basically, it’s just him and me. I’m a single mom. And he was only 10 months old. I kept on telling everyone that I wasn’t even done yet with the stigma. At that time, early 2000’s, I was still healing from becoming a single mom, and then [this happened]. I’m okay na rin. I’m thankful I had a son because knew I had to get more inspiration to get better. I had to be better for him. I mean, 10 months? That’s too early.
For a time when he was growing up, he thought single breasts were normal. So I had to school him. The nice thing also is that laking Lola siya. And he’s aware his Lola had only one breast. His Mommy also has one breast. So he’d go to his cousin’s house, have a sleepover, and then tell his female cousin, “Ate, tulog na tayo, tanggalin mo na ‘yang suso mo!” And the cousins would react, “Bakit? Pa’no?!” It also takes effort to explain, especially [in those cases.]
So now, my son is also a staunch advocate when it comes to breast cancer. He can also already lecture. And usually when they ask him about it, he recalls our funny stories.
At 16, he knows better. Actually, when he found out I have it again when he was 13, he was already crying because he understood, “Hindi pala simple yung cancer. Akala ko naman si Mommy okay na. Akala ko okay lang tong cancer, hindi pala.”
I do talk to my son about it. The usual question is, “Ano ‘yung anak mo?” Because it’s hereditary. I answer that he’s a boy. [And the usual reply would be,] “Ah buti na lang boy, so di magkakaroon.” But that’s not true for the case of my son. My oncologist was the one who told me, “Kung 1% lang usually sa guys, baka sa anak mo 10%. So if I were you, have him checked, because uso na rin ngayon ang breast cancer in males. There are also high incidents.”
He’s not being restricted by stigma, so he gets himself regularly tested. And he’s very conscious with his health. He does the self test himself. He’s the one who reminds me of the yearly check-up. Me, every six months, for him, yearly.
“Gano’n pala kapag foundation,
Hindi ka masaya kapag dumadami kayo.”
On breast health education
There are still myths that I can try to dispel. [Some people] still believe things like wearing underwire bra can cause breast cancer.
Sa dami rin ng nababasa, parang wala ka na ring pwedeng gawin. Actually, that’s the hard part. Like some people would say, chemotherapy eats up calcium so I should drink milk, but some say dairy is bad. So sometimes I don’t know. In some far flung areas, they think cancer in general is contagious, and like cough they don’t want to go near you. Some think of breast cancer as a death sentence already. Probably because of the poverty here in the Philippines and our health care situation.
For the average person without the risk of inheriting it, you still should have regular physical check-ups. If you find a lump, it usually doesn’t hurt. It’s there. It’s not moving. Usually the edges are rough. So the first step is the BSEthen when you get 40, you should have a baseline mammogram. Mammogram first, then ultrasound.
On serving others
I am currently the president of I Can Serve Foundation. We have indigent patients that we assist in ways that we can. Aside from sharing information, we have patient services wherein we raise funds to be able to help with the chemo, medicines, and whatever follow-ups with doctors. Aside from that, we also have a program called Ating Dibdibin wherein we go to barangays in Metro Manila to teach barangay health workers with breast health. Our statistics [for breast cancer] are highest compared to the rest of Southeast Asia*. And we’re number 9 in the world. It’s that high.
Every week we have a new member. Gano’n pala kapag foundation, hindi ka masaya kapag dumadami kayo. Because it means there are more people getting sick. We even said that even if we die a natural death because there’s no more breast cancer, it would be okay. Huwag na lang talaga.
Did your outlook in life change?
“No. Definitely not.”
On keeping the faith
I think [my faith] became stronger than ever. Kasi dadating sa point, kayo na lang dalawa ni Lord e. Yung parang wala ka nang magawa. I couldn’t even stand up [when I was sick] so I just prayed, “Lord, ano na? Hindi ko na talaga kaya, Ikaw na ‘to.”
[I want to tell people to] believe in yourself first. That you can do this. Let that be your outlook when you get diagnosed. Next is to believe in God. You just have to pray.
On ending the stigma
I have become quite a staunch advocate when it comes to Breast Cancer Awareness. And we really advocate information: teaching women, making them aware of breast cancer. Our battle cry is “Early detection is the best protection.” Early detection saves lives.
*For more information on Breast Cancer statistics in the Asia-Pacific region, kindly refer to this study.
It is the mission of I Can Serve Foundation, Inc. to provide hope and help to women with breast cancer. It promotes early breast cancer detection through high impact information campaigns and community-based screening programs. Its network of cancer survivors light the path for women with cancer towards total healing.
To support the foundation, its cause and programs, visit http://www.icanservefoundation.org or email info@icanservefoundation.org. I Can Serve Foundation is also found on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.
The Familywise Asia editorial team is composed of Alpha Allanigui, Almira Manduriao, Patricia Li, and Andreiana Yuvallos. Visit About Us for more information on the team.
Great article! Thank you.